Sunday, June 24, 2012

Dr Van Helsing to ER stat!

"The patient is alert and drained."   

("Alert and oriented" somehow turned into this).

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

She had a 4.2 grade point average, too!

In the social history: "The patient stated she had taken courses on lying in human resources management. " 

(Dictated was, "taken courses online...")

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Now with free caviar, no extra charge!

"The wound was cleaned with wet and dry gauze and covered with Sturgeon and a sterile, dry dressing."

Surgical techs readying the dressing, below.

(Dictated: "...covered with Steri-Strips and...)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

"A nation turns its lonely eyes to you, whoo-whoo-whoo..."

An ER doc is making phone calls for a patient needing specialist consult:   

"Dr. Joe DiMaggio took my call." 

(I wish it had gone on to say, "Joltin' Joe has left and gone away," but sadly, it did not. And no, the specialist's name was not actually "DiMaggio," and the patient was not named Mrs. Robinson, no one is ever that lucky, okay? 

For those who are confused by this.