Tuesday, September 27, 2011

There might be a problem with this EEG

"The background consisted of 20 to 40 microvolts, to death." 

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

We're gonna need a bigger brace

This just in: Healthcare benefits extended to tall buildings!

"The patient wears elastic braces on his 28th floor."

(Dictated: "...braces on his knees for....")

Monday, September 19, 2011

The doctor will see you now, Mrs Bass

"This is a very pleasant 62-year-old widemouth female."

(Dictated: "...white female...")

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Dr Obvious attends to detail

"The patient lives in Nearby County with his wife, who is still living, and is currently present in the room."

(It's good that she is still living, as zombies aren't yet included in the hospital's Infection Control plan.)  

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Oh, speech wreck, you so silly


Dictated: "Family history noncontributory." Perfectly clear dictation. Why did "gore" appear instead? We are not to know, my friend.