Thursday, August 18, 2011

No bacon for you!

"The patient states he had no more hogs or problems since the early 80s."




(Dictated: "...no more heart problems...")

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Don't be the problem, be the solution

"The patient is a normally dissolved female who is currently resting in the bed."






(Or is she the precipitate? Yes, Horse is still a science geek at heart.  Dictated was: ..."normally developed...)

Sunday, August 7, 2011

You'll find it in the last place you look, you know

"MRI of the brain was performed to relocate this patient's brain."




(Dictate was "re-look at," which makes me grind my teeth, but never mind).


Friday, August 5, 2011

I think we're gonna need a bigger drill

"POSTOPERATIVE DIAGNOSIS: Dinosaurs caries."





(From a Peds. dentistry note--"early childhood caries").

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Gone fishin'

"The patient confirms some piscatory preoccupation and delusional thinking." 



(For fishermen, aren't those two the same thing? . . . Dictated was "persecutory preoccupation...")