Math: Ur Doin It Wrong

Dr Obvious is in the house! "Family history: Both parents are deceased." 


Umm...yeah.  The patient is 95.



(I know what he was trying to do... but, well, something like "noncontributory in this nonagenarian" is a bit less facepalm-worthy). 

Not at all hard to swallow

"... Mr Gladpatient is also on cocaine 6 tabs b.i.d."


("Why, yes, our census is very high just now. Why do you ask?"







(Dictated was "coconut oil.")

She delivered a healthy china teacup

"He was born via spontaneous fragile delivery." 










("...vaginal delivery," of course. People don't actually give birth to dishware. What's the matter with you?)

We found the lost continent of Atlantis, though

"CT scan of the head is negative ... There  is no evidence of Malaysia." 




(Dictated: "... no encephalomalacia.")

Desperate doctors

"The patient was discussed with Dr Hospitalist, who is in agreement to suicide."






("... agreement with the plan" was dictated. No clue where Speech Wreck got "suicide"... maybe it's emo).

Best. Speech WRx. Evar.

... at least, until the next best one: 


"Sphincteroid." 





(Dictated:  Synthroid. Thanks to T.J. for this lovely Wreck!). 

Night shift in the Department of Redundancy Department

"She had a frontal headache in the front." 

Prescription and capsule criticism all in one!

"Spurious inhalation 1 q.a.m." 








("Spiriva inhaler" was dictated.)