Surgery vs Radiology--Video o' the Week

I just met a graft named Maria

"... autologous bone graft harvested from the hip using Maria."


..."and suddenly this pain
will never be the same
to meeee...." 
Sorry. I've said it before: Sometimes I can't help myself. 

(Dictated was, "...using the RIA..."  easier than using a character from a half-century old musical. Probably.)

Doc has a gift for understatement

"The arm and wrist were removed and there was noted to be stability of the joint."

Now THAT'S a lotta blood

"Estimated blood loss: 5 miles."

"There is a fracture. I need to fix it."

"I'm the registrar of Orthopedia." Y'all need to watch this. Soon. Now is good.

(Followup--several weeks later: This link has generated a lot of traffic, which I'm grateful for. But I also want to make sure that a tip of the hat is given to the genius of "SlowK", who created it, and to the folks at Xtranormal, whose site made it possible. There. I feel better).




(Thanks as aye to the ever-delightful Dr Grumpy for this one)

I think you should look at it again. Really.

"Her right bloody amputation stump is well-healed."




(Dictated: "...right below-knee amputation stump...")

And now, a word from Dr Obvious

Today's post is not a speech wreck or blooper, it's...just... well, see for yourself. Lisagg writes in: 


... Dr. Thoracic is dictating a trauma procedure note. 


He has given me the diagnosis of a stab wound, the assistant, the anesthesia, and then goes on to say:


"Complications: Death."

Wow....




(Thanks, Lisa!)

It was, like, a really . . . mellow . . . operation, man

This one is courtesy of reader Annie Nemous. Thanks, Annie! It's not a Speech Wreck, but it's wonderful as is. I imagine this surgeon looking kinda like The Dude, but in scrubs:


""It appears that on the flexor side that the median nerve lost several of its muscular branches and there looks like to be a little area where there were some fibers that if you just flipped them cephalad or proximally, they looked like there has been a tear and part of this tear extended distally somewhat off of perhaps where one of the trunks of the motor nerves come out. "

"Like a Surgeon," woo-woo-woo....

ER report, middle-aged lady:


"She apparently has been set up to be a virgin, but not until next week."




I don't even know where to begin, so I'll just tell you that what he dictated was "...to see a surgeon." Ow. My diaphragm hurts. Good thing I don't need it to do my work.  

Unfortunately the doc was smoking Wreck

"Once he has stopped smoking weekend play in his revision surgery."

Dictated: "Once he has stopped smoking we can plan on his revision surgery."




(Speech Wreck from a reader, Donna. Thanks!) 

Humor, NOS

Not a blooper or a speech wreck, but it needs to be posted up anyway. 


This was dictated by an orthopod who has never manifested any sign of a sense of humor before, so I'm just kind of wondering...was he making a subtle little joke, or was he being serious? You be the judge. 


He's doing an H&P on an 87-year-old patient with the usual constellation of medical issues, and the last item in her list of diagnoses is: 


"Advanced age, NOS." 

His insurance wouldn't pay for a fast one

"He has had a slow splenectomy."

...he's got his lawyer on autodial, too

Dictated:  "Dr X was  the surgeon who had managed this."

Draft: "... "Dr X was was the surgeon who admitted to this."